I Should Not Be Allowed Out of the House

Part I: I should not be allowed out of the house

My shopping cart began to squeak with the most irritating metal against metal sound, so high up the scale that mice in ceilings would have fallen dead. This was at Emigh’s. Shoppers began to frown at me. Then one man  said aloud, “I like that sound!” I looked at his smiling face and said so all could hear, “And I love irritating people!” The only person who laughed was that male shopper. I squeaked my way to the cashier.

Part II: I should not be allowed out of the house

 When the optometrist said, “Since you write children’s books, what do you think of what’s going on with our children?” I used paragraphs to give my views on political adults who are interfering with our children by banning books and controlling learning. I went on how our children won’t be able to think, make the right choices, blah blah blah. I even suggested that all teachers change their last names to Gay. After I got through, she merely said, “Well, there are some bad things out there for our children.” I realized driving home that my vision and hers were charts apart!

Part II: I should not be allowed out of the house

I walk inside the mall for an hour before the shops open . Often, it’s the security guards and myself  in the mall. The mall is filled with beautiful plants. One of those plants is selling for $27 or more at Emigh’s or in supermarkets. So, why can’t I just snip off a cutting and start my own pot of greens. Who would miss a five inch cutting? There are two such pots in one corner of the mall. I could easily hide one in my pocket. Then one day a security guard told me how safe the mall is because there are more than 150 cameras in the ceilings. Omg, I thought, I could have been arrested for stealing had I taken just a few inches of a plant. But the thought never left. Two days ago I saw the gardener working with the plants. I asked to see his trash bag for any shoots. When I told him how pricey those potted plants were, he asked which plants did I like? Without a word he took out two potted plants, put them in a plastic bag and said, “Walk with me and show me what other plants you want.”  I told him those two pots were enough. “These are heavy. Let me carry these to your car.” I told him I could handle them, he refused the cash I offered him for his lunch and I  took them to my car and returned to finish my walk. I saw him today and he said, “ Do you want more plants?” “I’m good, “ I said and thanked him. He saved me from prison, that kind gardener.

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