Posts Tagged ‘Escalators’

Escalator Famous

Did I tell you how famous I am?
I was on the second floor of Macy’s in a shopping mall on the east side of Honolulu when I heard repeatedly over the PA system: Frances Kakugawa, please go to the Fine Jewelry Department.”

I went down the escalator, thinking oh #*&! I must have left my glasses or credit card somewhere. The saleswoman was smiling when I approached the counter.

“Did you page me?” I asked and before I could identify myself, she called me by name and explained how she saw me going up the escalator and invited me to see the new shipment of diamonds that had arrived.

Is she delusional? Does she think I sell millions of books and can afford diamonds? Didn’t she notice my custom jewelry unless she thought I was trying to pass as just another wealthy woman in disguise? She insisted I try the bracelets and necklaces and earrings so I did.

“These are perfect for book signings,” she murmured.
Diamonds are not my best friends. But my uncontrollable ego did walk away a bit pleased that she had recognized me on the escalator as “that author.”

At the airport, while going down an escalator, I saw a man pull his partner’s sleeve and excitedly say, as he pointed to me, “Mosaic Moon. Mosaic Moon.” ( For those of you who don’t know how famous I am, that’s the title of one of my books). I smiled and waved and mouthed “thank you.”

How can I not come to believe that escalators are the prime sites for recognizing celebrities.
( No, I haven’t checked with Pres. Obama, Oprah or Hilary, not yet).

So I use the escalators a lot at Arden Fair Mall, going up and down to different floors.

What is wrong with Sacramento?

Where is the Paparazzi? No one even asks me if I’m lost or if I have a fetish for escalators. And hard as I pay attention, I don’t hear my name over the PA system. Don’t they know I’m famous?

I beg you from any escalator nearest you, go out and buy my new book so I can hear my name throughout Arden Mall or any mall in your town. I’ve already hired two security guards.

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